Sexual Harassment at Workplace

Friday Morning 1000 hrs at her office
She walks in to find a beautiful bunch of fresh Red Roses on her desk, with a note attached. The note read- "We did it! We got that account. Lets meet at 5 pm, my office, to talk about that appraisal of yours". The note was from her supervisor, two levels up. She is excited about clinching that account; after all that hard work and late hours she had put in. And the thought of a possible promotion was heady. She couldn't wait for 5pm to come.

Friday Evening 1700 hrs at his office
She walks in to his cabin, all charged up and smiling. She has prepared her appraisal papers well. She has all the details of her accomplishments for the year on neat printed sheets. Her boss leans back on his chair, and asks her to come sit next to him, and press his head. "We could chat about that promotion, when we are more comfortable", he says.

Sounds familiar? Most working women, at some time or the other, have faced situations like these, where a chance remark or a subtle comment, is made in a suggestive manner. Sometimes it's the words, and at times the tone it is uttered in, that tell her that this particular message is different. Sometimes it may be overt sometimes very subtle. It may be jokes that are cracked in her presence that make her uncomfortable because of an innuendo that she senses. Sometimes though it is quite open and blatant. It might be an invitation to dinner from a married boss or colleague and might sound innocent enough and might even make you wonder what could go wrong. Sometimes they may be isolated incidents but most times sexual harassment would typically be repetitive and sustained over a long period of time.

What constitutes Sexual harassment though?
Anything said, or done or shown to an employee, that makes the person 'feel 'uncomfortable, may come under this purview. So how does one define what constitutes sexual harassment? The Supreme Court of India has defined Sexual Harassment as follows;

"Sexual harassment includes such unwelcome sexually determined behavior (whether directly or by implication), as -

• Physical contact and advances
• A demand or request for sexual favors
• Sexually colored remarks (innuendos, jokes)
• Showing pornography

And any other unwelcome physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct of sexual nature." (Supreme Court of India Guidelines on Sexual Harassment, August 1997). The critical factor to keep in mind here is the "unwelcomeness" of the said behavior. Thus importantly, it is the "Impact" of the behavior on the recipient, rather than the "Intent" of the perpetrator that will be considered.

The main problem though, in 'proving' a Sexual Harassment case is that it challenges the typified Indian women behaviour. "She's saying no, but she really means yes" - is how a woman's image is continuously reinforced. Men are "expected" to make the first moves, and women are supposed to "like" this attention. And somewhere along the way, the idea has been generated that women who are beautiful, westernized, wear smart clothes, are single or are divorced are perceived to "ask for it", or "invite it". It's also a myth that men cannot be sexually harassed. In fact it exists in most corporate environments, though to a much lesser degree than women. It is important here that we question our own perceptions on the issue of harassment, before we can bring about any change!

Especially in a workplace scenario, where does being flirtatious, funny or friendly end and sexual harassment or sexism begin? And how does a woman say no when she is afraid - of retaliation, of losing her job or promotions, or of ruining her reputation. Or say no when she is just plain not interested - but has been conditioned to be submissive and accepting of what has come to be considered normal male behaviour? Sexual harassment on the job is not only about sex; it's about unwanted, abusive behavior -- usually repeated. The most pernicious myth about sexual harassment then, is that it's just "normal male flirting" and women are being over-sensitive. Often even when sexual harassment is accepted as an offense, it is seen as a "personal problem" - i.e., a problem between the two individuals involved. If anything, it is the woman's problem in not being able to maturely handle the situation. The reality is that it is also an employer problem because of the costs of sexual harassment to employers-in terms of low self-esteem, or of absenteeism, low productivity, employee retention, or even legal fees and claims to victims in the case of lawsuits.

The impact of Sexual Harassment on Women can be quite traumatic.
No woman can be emotionally "indifferent" to it. The survey of a Gender Study Group shows that most women felt disgusted, insulted and scared by any sort of harassment. Often what also happens is that women internalize male perceptions of sexual harassment and blame themselves for having brought on the harassment. They not only doubt the validity of their own experiences but also begin to believe that they themselves must be 'abnormal', 'cheap', 'indecent' or deserving the harassment that comes their way. Many feel extreme anger, frustration and helplessness at not being able to do anything about the harassment. Many women having faced this behaviour say that they find it difficult to trust or have friendships with men. Some women are able to handle it by being aggressive but most women encountering sexual harassment at work, take the easy way out and quit their jobs. (Only to find that it exists everywhere). And forced by the circumstances over which they have no control, they become bitter.

So what does an employee do if faced with an unpleasant situation like this?
Seek help. Most companies have a strict anti-harassment policy. Details about it are probably on your company intranet. This committee will most probably have members of both genders, so you can choose to speak to someone with whom you are more comfortable. You could always contact the HR department who can give you more information.

Remember that by acting, you will not only protect yourself but will also help prevent others from having to go through the same trauma.

Manage workplace relationships

Do you look forward to coming to work because you enjoy the company and support of your colleagues? Or do you dread it because you do not get along with the others, or feel that you cannot trust them and see them as competitors.

Good relationships at work can make all the difference to our experience at the workplace. When we maintain congenial relationships with co-workers it helps us get our work done more smoothly, we enjoy our work more and it even motivates us to keep going despite obstacles and challenges. On the contrary, when working relationships are unpleasant, not only is it more difficult to get things done, but it also creates a negative atmosphere which affects our mood and productivity and even motivation to work.

We have different types of relationships at work. Some help us to get things done for eg. we need to network in order to get the information or resources that we need to carry out a task or we have to work collaboratively on a project. Other relationships help us to feel good - we may share our stresses or successes, encourage, support and motivate one another, eat meals together and so on. Both types of relationships are important and need to be nurtured.

In many ways workplace relationships are similar to any other relationships, and so many of the same principles would apply.

Give and take
All good relationships involve a certain amount of reciprocity and workplace relationships are no different. If one person seems to be at the receiving end all the time, the other would eventually become resentful. While it is good to ask for help when we require it, we should also take the time to find out what others need and try to provide assistance whenever we can.

Besides pouring out our problems or sharing our own successes, we also need to take time to ask our colleagues about their lives, and really listen attentively.

Communicate
Accurate communication is essential to a good relationship. We should take time to clarify what we mean. In the event of a misunderstanding or conflict, we should talk directly to the person concerned rather than discuss with others. There is sometimes a tendency to avoid a person with whom we have had a difference of opinion, but this is counterproductive. A direct discussion will clear the air and pave the way to restore the relationship.

Share common interests
We spend much of our waking time at work so it makes sense to check out if there are others who share a common interest – whether it is playing a sport, trekking, volunteer work, music, going for movies / plays or anything else. You will have company as you pursue this activity which will help in your all-round development and it will also help you bond with others. This is particularly important if you have moved into a new city to work or if your friends have moved away or work at different timings.

It is also wise to observe certain boundaries in these relationships to avoid negative consequences:

Remain professional
While it is not necessary to be aloof and formal, we must remember that we are primarily colleagues and therefore avoid saying or doing anything that would compromise this working relationship. While it is acceptable and even valuable to socialise with colleagues outside of the workplace, it is important not to do something that would result in feeling embarrassed to face them the next day.

Avoid gossip and back-biting
Gossip is widespread yet extremely destructive. It is possible to actively take steps to avoid being sucked into this negative pattern. If we find ourselves in a group which is tearing someone to pieces, we could attempt to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. If this doesn’t work it is better to tactfully leave the room – eventually others will get the message.

Be careful whom you trust
You may have built a close relationship with some people and feel safe in confiding in them. But do not assume that everyone is equally trustworthy. If something that you have said is repeated or quoted out of context this could cause a lot of problems. If there is something that you would not like to be repeated, then avoid sharing this information.

Good workplace relationships will make you look forward to coming to work, and you will find yourself saying ‘Thank goodness it’s Monday’!